Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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