So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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