i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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