she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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