The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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