oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
