hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize