Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
