i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
