That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
