I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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