420 ftw
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
