I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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