whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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