i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
