gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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