This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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