You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize