I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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