drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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