He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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