All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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