I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
