Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This house was built for laser tag.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
