Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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