i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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