ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
