I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
