I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
