i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
