omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
