well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
