what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
