i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
