Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
