Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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