They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
