Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
