So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize