Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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