i jhust puked up my retainher.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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