make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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