i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
how does that bad decision feel?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
