the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
