when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
