The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize