The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
