He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
