i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
