It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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