Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize