She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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