Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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