Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's shark week go big or go home
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
