if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
