nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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