so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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