You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We just shotgunned beers for America
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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