It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
