Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
