Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
