I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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