Your tits are I can't wait for
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
