FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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